Observations of a Stay at Home Mom

It's been a busy couple of weeks full of airplanes, turkey, chaos and shopping. The spinning of my head is finally slowing down and I'm feeling on top of my to do lists. We had a great Thanksgiving and are ready for the holiday season to hit us full force! So, here I am, blogging about some stuff that's been on my mind.

As a teacher, I was trained to observe. Observe students' behavior, observe other teachers' techniques, observe my own use of language and so much more. I've been observing for so many years it is really just a part of who I am now. So, you can imagine I've been making some interesting observations over the last year in my new role as mom. Thought I'd share some:

• Stay-at-home moms like to shop (groceries, errands, etc.) on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. We like spending the weekends with our families and we know Mondays are busy at the stores because of all the people who put off their to-do-lists on the weekend. We also are exhausted by Friday and don't want to think about entertaining a baby in a shopping cart. 

• We are also the ones who take forever at the checkout counter. We are searching through our coupons and organizing our bags so the perishables are all together. You see, when you live in a condo with no attached garage, you have to be strategic about which grocery bags you can carry inside with your very heavy baby and which can stay in your car until your husband comes home to bring the rest in.

• Parents are the only ones who routinely stop at crosswalks. The city of Chicago has even put up signs at crosswalks reminding drivers to stop for pedestrians, but most don't. I've noticed most of the time, when I'm walking with Cam, it's the moms and dads who stop to let us cross.

• Moms complain together and brag together. Your kid was up all night screaming? Well mine was a monster yesterday with a fever. Your kid can stand on one foot and recite the alphabet backward? Well mine can drink from his sippy cup while standing on his head.

• Business men do not want to help you on an airplane. Even when you're trying to calm a crying baby while putting together a bottle and juggling all the toys your child has thrown from the diaper bag. No, they'd rather put in their earplugs and pretend you're not there. 

• Moms, however, will entertain your baby by cooing and laughing with them and tell you how great your kid did on the flight despite him squealing and yelling loudly for the majority of the time. 

• Moms use the daycare at the gym for relaxing time, not workout time. Some drop their kids off, go to the locker room and sit in the comfy lounge with their Kindle. (I haven't done this yet, but it seems like a great idea and the lady at my gym really looked refreshed when she went to pick up her kids!)

I love being part of this very special group of people. There's a lot to observe, and I can only imagine what others have noticed about me! Here are some pictures of the Mister from the past few days...

 

What Ever Happened to Being a Kid??

This article popped up on my Facebook feed last week. I remember sitting across from Rick on the couch and shouting, "Babe! Listen to this!" because I was that disturbed by it. If you don't have time to read it, here's the headline:

Published on Monday in the journal Pediatrics, an updated policy statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) reports that trampolines can cause serious injuries to both younger and older children, and the report discourages parents from allowing their kids to use one.

 Why am I so hot and bothered by trampolines? Well, it isn't really trampolines. It's everything that is too risky, bad and unhealthy for kids anymore. From the foods we feed (or don't) to our children, the toys that cost a bagillion dollars because they will make your baby smarter, and the babyproofing companies that will come to your house to literally de-baby your entire space... it's just too much for me. What's next? Bicycles? Rollerblades?

The other day, I took Cam to an open play place and he was having a hoot playing in the pretend kitchen -- opening and closing the oven, banging the pots together and eating the pretend food. Another mom was nearby nagging her baby (who was roughly the same age as C) about putting things in her mouth. She kept saying, "that's disgusting," and "this is pretend food... not real food, that's gross!" And without any judgment, I just felt sad for the baby. Of course putting things in your mouth is gross. No doubt I find it disgusting when I turn around and find C chomping on a shoe or Maizey's toys. But, he's a baby! He's supposed to be exploring things with his mouth! It just breaks my heart that we are so worried about germs and obesity and child protective services that our kids can't be kids anymore.

As I start to think about preschool and which route I want to take with C (I can't believe it's even time to start thinking about this!) I feel so strongly that I just want him to be allowed to be a kid. Preschool is just that.. PREschool and I want him to play and run and get dirty. I want him to learn to tie his shoes, not how to complete a worksheet. I want him to learn to share, not how to recite the alphabet backward while standing on his head.

I certainly don't have all the answers, and I'm sure Cam will have his share of broken bones and illnesses because I let him crawl on public floors (gasp!) and climb up on anything. I don't think we have to say "no" all the time, and I don't think we have to keep our kids in a safe bubble. I believe we can be smart about they way we let our kids explore their world. I don''t want to imagine a world where Cam doesn't know what it's like to fly up so high in the air and crash down on a bouncy trampoline squealing with delight.

I am a big believer in "when you know better, you do better," but at some point, can't we just let kids be kids??

And, to avoid a pictureless post.. here are a few random ones from the past few days!

Loves playing with Daddy!

Fall walks are here!!

 

Starting to put him to work :)

Enjoy It

In the past two days, five (random!) people have told me to "enjoy this time!" with my baby. All the comments have been followed by, "just wait until he talks back to you..." or "just wait till he starts walking and running away from you.." or "just wait until he leaves you for another woman.." (yes someone actually said that!!).

I have so many thoughts about this, I couldn't help but blog about it. First of all, what makes these people think I'm not enjoying my little man? Is it the fact that I had three bottles of wine in my Target cart today? Or that I was drinking a venti coffee and eating gummy bears to keep my eyes open in the checkout line at the store? I don't remember reading in any of the baby books that "a mother must be smiling, cooing and doting on her baby every second of every day in order to enjoy him." Maybe I missed that chapter.

Though I felt frustrated my the onslaught of comments, I was more saddened by the follow up commentary each person had to offer. It made me feel sorry for them that they felt they needed to project their feelings of regret, frustration, exhaustion, or whatever it is they were feeling at the moment they had to tell me that their child had the worst potty mouth or they hadn't peed alone in three years.

By no means am I claiming to have never complained or felt the same way. I guess I just never thought about laying those feelings out there on a perfect stranger. Which led me to feeling grateful. Grateful that I have friends and family whom I can call when I've been pooped on three times in a day. Grateful that the people I love the most pick up the phone when I call even if I've already talked to them twice that day. Grateful that my husband pitches in... a lot.

So, let me assure you mothers out there who feel it necessary to remind me to enjoy my little angel that every time I look into his eyes I'm enjoying him. Every diaper change... I enjoy him. Every time he tugs on my fingers... I enjoy him. I absolutely enjoy him. As much as I can every minute of every day. Especially when soaking in my evening bubble bath with that end-of-the-day glass of wine in hand.

How To Survive The First Month of Parenthood

Figuring out this parenting thing has been quite a trip! Rick and I are a good team and we have had a tremendous amount of help from our families and friends as we have settled into our new roles. But what we have learned about surviving these first few weeks of parenting came from trial and error -- accidentally stumbling upon tricks and tips that somehow make Cam a little happier and a little more peaceful.

So to those of you new parents or soon-to-be new parents, take note. Here are some of our favorite gadgets, tricks and tips!

The Blow Dryer: we were told to play white noise when Cam is sleeping to help soothe him (it's supposed to mimic the sounds of the womb and help him feel comforted). Well, a few nights ago when Rick was trying to calm our little fussy pants down and I was attempting to dry my hair in the bathroom, Rick shouted "turn that back on!" Apparently, the blow dryer was an instant soother and Cam was instantly asleep at the sound of it. Needless to say, my blow dryer is about to blow from the amount of use it has gotten in the last few days!

Note -- I have since downloaded an app on my phone which plays a constant blow dryer noise. Only problem is as soon as someone texts or calls me, the app is interrupted and Cam starts screaming, right on cue. So, if you try to reach me and I don't answer my phone... assume the blow dryer is to blame!

The Miracle Blanket: this thing is like crack. It looks like torture but makes Cam melt like butter. As soon as we started using it, Cam has been sleeping better. And so have we!

The NoseFrida (aka Snot Sucker): This thing totally grossed Rick out when I first told him about it. But it's amazing! Poor Cam has been congested and it has made eating and sleeping rather challenging for him. So we took out the snot sucker, hopped in a steam shower with him and sucked away. It's strangely satisfying to watch how much you can get out of such a tiny nose! It's amazing what you'll do for your kids.

Indian DancingI: It's a very special, sacred dance that involves a precise heel-toe motion. Rick's boss pulled him aside a few weeks ago to show him this magical baby dance, and ever since we have been Indian Dancing Campbell to sleep when he's fussy or wide awake. I'll have to post a video soon to show you Rick in action.


Most of all, the best way to survive the newborn weeks is to take a look at the little peanut and remember how helpless he is and how his every need is being met by you. It's an overwhelming feeling and gets me through the brief moments of frustration. It just doesn't get much cuter than this: